its not stalking. its research.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
