Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
