It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
