Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
