youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
