There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
