I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
