I'd wear matching sweaters with you
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
