yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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