I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Randomize
