you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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