Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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