I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
