Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Randomize
