how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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