Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Randomize
