it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
