I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
People in love make me want to vomit
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Randomize
