Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
