Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Randomize
