just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
