How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
