The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
