You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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