I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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