last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
We are all done wearing pants today
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
