if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
