Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
