dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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