I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
