I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Randomize
