Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
