Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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