just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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