all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Randomize
