I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
