after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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