I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
