yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
