Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Randomize
