kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
