I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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