I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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