He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
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