Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Randomize
