They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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