So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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