How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
You made out with two different species that night
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Randomize
