nutella sex= disaster
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
