do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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