you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
