i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Randomize
